April 4, 2019

The first day of April.
I woke up in the morning, feeling tired. I stayed up too late the night before, but sometimes it’s hard to let go of Sunday and what if's.

I have a pretty decent day job. I work in a small company and I have flexible work hours and not too heavy workload. 
I have some decent work tasks but most of it is boring and really just not for me. They could use my writing talents, but no, instead I'm stuck with other things. I've been clear about my wishes and my goals, but when the company is so small, there's no-one else to do the work I am doing. And hiring a new person to do that is out of the question. So... I have no time to take more interesting tasks. 

I feel like I don’t belong there. I feel stuck. I don’t hate the job. It just doesn’t give anything to me.

Just nothing.
It makes me feel like my life is swooshing past me.


This Monday morning, I sat at my desk and felt miserable. I drank coffee, checked Twitter and Facebook, dreading to open the work emails. And I was right; only negativity and problems.
I knew that I can't take it much longer.



"Am I going to be stuck for the rest of my life and never reach my goals?" 



I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I can't quit my job. I have bills to pay, and I have a family to support. I'm in a situation most writers who are starting their careers are. I need a steady income. I can't just drop everything and become a full-time writer.

Uh! What can I do?
Am I going to be stuck for the rest of my life and never reach my goals? 


But like often happens, after feeling down like this, I suddenly get some weird extra boost.
NO, I decided. I will not let that happen to me. This is my life. MINE. I get to decide what happens next.

I reminded myself how much I have changed in just a few years. I’ve been an indie author for a year now, and I have two books and a novella out. A lot can happen in a short time if I stay focused, right? So, after being all dramatic and miserable for a moment, I made a 5-year plan. A kind of intimidating plan.
When I look at it, I feel dizzy. That plan includes many, many, books.

I believe in the power of the subconscious mind. And I believe that I should trust my gut. And my gut says that I can do it. if I keep my focus and see the vision clear in my mind, and work hard... I can do it. The plan is almost freaking me out, but at the same time, it feels good. That’s how I know it’s the right one.

So, my friends... If you don't hear from me a lot, that’s because I’m going to be pretty busy for the next years.  

Do you have a 5-year plan? I would love to hear about it!





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